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Doctor Ah-Clem!

Many busy executives ask me, "So, who is Ah-Clem, anyway"? Well, here in the city of the future, answers to questions like that don't come so easy. You have to be a true seeker to find "The Truth" so here are some hints about the identity of Doctor Ah-Clem to get you started.

Hint #1 - What do all these obscure phrases have in common?

And there's hamburger all over the highway in Mystic, Connecticut. Back to the shadows, again! Everything you know is wrong! Forward into the Past! I think we're all bozos on this bus! It's been snowing ever since the top of the page... Loostners Castor Oil Flakes: The All-Weather Breakfast! More Sugar! Oh, hey, he's no fun, he fell right over! Shoes for Industry! This is no movie, this is real! Wow, that's faster than anyone's ever been gone before!

Hint #2 - Who ARE all these people? (and how do I make my voice do this?)

Deputy Dan, Porgie Tirebiter, Ralph Spoilsport, Artie Choke, Nick Danger, Joe Beets, Mudhead, Buz and Bunny Crumhunger, Mrs. Honey General, Principal Poop, Rocky Rococo, and, of course, Ah-Clem.

Hint #3 - What's all this bru-ha-ha?
...everyone knew her as Nancy. (38 k)
...what about my pickle? (81 k)
...he fell right over. (54 k)
We're all bozos... (374 k)
Read me, Doctor... (29 k)
If you push something hard enough... (298 k)
...your brain may not be the boss. (419 k)

Hint #4 - What's this all about???

Hint #5 - Who left these links lying all about?

Jerry's Firesign Theatre Page
Firesign Theatre Site
Niles Ritter's Firesign Site

Hint #6 - Who are THESE BOZOS?

Phil Proctor Dave Ossman Phil Austin Pete Bergman

Hint #7 - Well, you're all out of hints now, Bucko!

You either figured it out ... or you're one of the bozos on the bus.

So now you know the awesome truth... I grew up listening to the Firesign Theatre !!! Just like how your GrandMom and GrandPop used to listen to the radio adventures of The Shadow, I loved to sit by the "hi fi" and bask in the glow of the humor of the Firesign Theatre. The adventures of the gang has had a most profound and mysterious affect on the direction that my life has taken. I expect, in the years ahead, that trend to continue.

So it is in honor of these singularly funny fellows that I dedicate these endeavors of mine to the years of hearty laughs the Firesign Theatre has given the world. To the FST newbie among you, these clever dramas give insight in the "human condition" and once you get the hang of who every one is and how all the records relate to one another (yeah, I said RECORDS... you know... those oversized floppy things with data impressed on BOTH SIDES), you can't help but wishing you too could travel to the stars in spaceships piloted by dogs. It's true, you know!

Anyway, if I have raised your curiosity even a little bit... I mean, I REALLY TRIED TO RAISE YOUR CURIOSITY (and your level of consciousness), then you just might want to visit and order a FST CD or two. You won't regret it (unless you just hate laughing until your sides break open and you wish you hadn't supersized your Coke at lunch) !!

Click to Buy!
Give Me Immortality Or Give Me Death
Firesign Theatre

Need I point out that THIS IS BRAND NEW ?!?
Audio CD (September 8, 1998)

Click here for reviews of this album.

Click to Buy!
How Can You Be In Two Places At Once When You're Not Anywhere At All?
Firesign Theatre
Audio CD (July 18, 1995)

Click here for reviews of this album.

Click to Buy!
Shoes For Industry! The Best Of The Firesign Theatre
Firesign Theatre
Audio CD (September 7, 1993)

Click here for reviews of this album.

Please e-mail me at:
Doctor Ah-Clem

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